The Highlander Horoscope...2!

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Remember to keep the skeletons in your closet well-fed, or they might get feisty.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Did you know that worms have seven hearts? Kinda sick!

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

You don’t like trumpet? Bwaaaa.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Oooh, you want to see Renfield in theaters so badly.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Do not worry. The cat you are trying to impress loves you very much. She purrs like a motor when you walk in the room.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Stop thinking about your crush from 6th grade.

Libra (September 23-October 23)

Remember to turn in your overdue books at the library.

Scorpio (October 24-November 21)

You seem like you ship Bowser and Luigi. You know, like from Mario.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Yes, the Y2K aesthetic you have going on is fun and trendy. You look great.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Eating rocks is okay and very cool.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

You may be cringe, but you are free.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

If you are seeing more frogs than usual, that is a good thing. They are looking out for you!