The Highlander Horoscope...2!
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Remember to keep the skeletons in your closet well-fed, or they might get feisty.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Did you know that worms have seven hearts? Kinda sick!
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
You don’t like trumpet? Bwaaaa.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Oooh, you want to see Renfield in theaters so badly.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Do not worry. The cat you are trying to impress loves you very much. She purrs like a motor when you walk in the room.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Stop thinking about your crush from 6th grade.
Libra (September 23-October 23)
Remember to turn in your overdue books at the library.
Scorpio (October 24-November 21)
You seem like you ship Bowser and Luigi. You know, like from Mario.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Yes, the Y2K aesthetic you have going on is fun and trendy. You look great.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Eating rocks is okay and very cool.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
You may be cringe, but you are free.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
If you are seeing more frogs than usual, that is a good thing. They are looking out for you!