photo credit: College Humor (CollegeHumor) “Realistic Gym Workout Diagrams”
09 September 2010. Caldwell, Tanner.
So, it’s finally time for midterms!
We’re already halfway through the semester, as wild as it seems. Now that we’ve reached the homestretch, it’s time to prove that we haven’t been idly warming desk seats and paying a kajillion dollars in tuition to do so.
Step 1: Get Overwhelmed by All that You Have to Do
If you can look me straight in the eye and say that midterms week is not busy for you, you’re clearly lying. It’s a lot. There is a lot. The sooner that you accept this, the better. Denial only works for so long.
Step 2: Procrastinate till the Cows Come Home
Denial may not work for long, but it works in the short term! As you must know, a college student is a master procrastinator. We all really deserve credit for the amount of times we’ve said, “we’ll do it later,” until later is now. It’s fine. There’s a new season of your favorite show on Netflix, your friends just asked you to hang out, scrolling on Instagram is fun. What’s a school?
photo credit: Green, K.C. “Gunshow #648” 9 January 2013.
Step 3: Wait Until the Night Before to Freak Out
Oh yeah, you do have that midterm tomorrow! That’s crazy, huh? You run to the library to nab a study room and they’re all occupied. You see students scattered all over the third floor. The MAC is full. It seems like every building on campus closes at midnight. It’s rough. Maybe if you try hard enough, you can focus in your room? Just ignore that Youtube tab, you totally (don’t) got this.
photo credit: College Student (CollegeStudent) “Roses are red, college is long…” 3 Oct 2017. Tweet.
Step 4: Push Through the Week
The dreaded week arrives. You’re drinking your eighth coffee from the Salty Dog as we speak. If I looked at your phone right now, I’d see the “Should I drop out of college” web search in your Google history. But you trudge on because that’s what a college student does! No time for a breakdown—you can schedule that in between the three exams you have on Friday.
photo credit: Screenshot of web series Real Bros of Simi Valley. 1 February 2019.
Step 5: Success!
And boom! It’s Friday! You’ll blink and find that you’ve finished with all the exams, easy (stressed) peasy (depressed) lemon squeezy (lemon zest). Take that extra-long nap. Call and complain to your friends. Go get something sweet from Freddy’s. You deserve it. Don’t think too hard about how you did this week, chances are it’ll drive you crazy. At least there’s fall break!